Worrying is part of being human. A little worry can even be useful, it helps us prepare for an exam, plan for an interview, or double-check the front door is locked. But when worry loops endlessly, it becomes draining. Many people tell me they lie awake at night replaying “what if” scenarios or find that worry stops them from enjoying the present. So how do we stop worrying? The strategies I’ll share here are based on decades of research in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), one of the most effective psychological approaches for reducing worry. CBT teaches us to notice and challenge unhelpful thinking patterns, stay grounded in the present, and take practical steps forward rather than getting stuck in rumination. These techniques are simple, and when practised regularly, they make a real difference.
1. The first step is to notice when worry has become unhelpful. Helpful worry usually leads to action: making a to-do list, calling to confirm an appointment, or preparing for a presentation. Unhelpful worry circles around without resolution. A simple pause to ask yourself, “Is this helping me, or is this just noise?” can interrupt the cycle.
2. Another way to manage worry is to challenge the endless “what ifs.” Most worries are about things that might happen, not things that are happening. Our brains are wired to anticipate threats, but sometimes they exaggerate them. Try asking yourself, “What evidence do I have this will happen?” or “How have I coped with similar situations before?” Often, you’ll see the “what if” is not as certain or catastrophic as it feels.
3. If your worries feel constant, setting aside a dedicated “worry time” can be surprisingly effective. Choose a 10-minute window each day to write down everything on your mind. When worries come up at other times, gently remind yourself, “I’ll save that for worry time.” Over time, your brain learns that worry doesn’t need to dominate your whole day.
4. Another strategy is to bring yourself back into the present moment. Worry pulls us into the future, but calm is found in the here and now. Grounding techniques like noticing five things you can see, four things you can hear, three you can feel, two you can smell and one you can taste, shift your focus back to your immediate surroundings. Even a few slow breaths can help break the cycle of racing thoughts.
5. It also helps to distinguish between worries you can do something about and those you can’t. Some concerns are within your control, like paying a bill on time or studying for an exam. Others, such as whether it rains on the weekend or how others perceive you, are not. Ask yourself, “Is this in my control?” If the answer is yes, take a small step of action. If not, practice letting it go, hard at first, but easier with practice.
6. Finally, be kind to yourself. Worry is not a personal failing; it’s part of being human. Instead of criticising yourself for being anxious, offer some compassion. Try saying, “This is hard, but I’m doing my best.” Self-kindness makes worry feel less overwhelming and gives you the space to manage it more effectively.
If worry is interfering with your sleep, work, or relationships, it might be time to seek support. Worry can be managed and life feels so much lighter when it’s not running the show.
