As a clinical psychologist, I have many parents, and their teens, come to me and ask questions about alcohol use and mental health. Talking to teens about alcohol can be challenging, but it’s important to have open, honest, informed and calm discussions. Here are some tips, grounded in research, for parents.

Create a judgment-free space. Teens are influenced by their friends, and they may shut down if they feel judged. Avoid lecturing and instead ask open-ended questions like, ‘What do you think about drinking?’ or ‘Have you ever felt pressured to drink?’ Listening without reacting with anger or fear can help you build trust. If they mention what their friends are doing, use it as an opportunity to guide, not scold.

Explain the effects of alcohol. Many teens don’t fully understand how alcohol affects their bodies and brains. The teenage brain is still developing, particularly in areas responsible for decision-making, impulse control and memory. Drinking alcohol during this time can interfere with this development, leading to long-term effects. It also impairs judgment, which can increase the likelihood of risky behaviour, like accidents or unsafe choices. While alcohol may seem like a way to relax, it can worsen anxiety and mood swings over time. Helping teens understand this can guide them toward healthier coping strategies.

Be a positive role model. Teens often mimic adult behaviours, so it’s important to model responsible drinking. If they see you drinking responsibly, or not drinking at all, they are more likely to follow your lead. Reinforce that alcohol is a choice, not a necessity and that socialising doesn’t always involve drinking. Share with them how you manage stress without turning to alcohol, for example.

Handling peer pressure. One concern many parents have is how to help their teens navigate peer pressure around drinking. Instead of providing alcohol for parties (which research shows increases drinking and risky behaviour), help them prepare for social situations. Teens can have a simple response ready, like ‘No thanks, I’m good.’ They can also bring their own non-alcoholic drink or plan an exit strategy if they feel uncomfortable. Role-playing these situations with your teen can help them feel confident and equipped to handle peer pressure.

Talk about consequences. Teens need to understand that drinking is not just about health, it can affect relationships, trust and future opportunities. Underage drinking can lead to legal problems, damage friendships, and affect things like school or job prospects. Instead of scaring them with consequences, talk to them about real-life risks and help them make informed decisions.

Keep the conversation going. Talking about alcohol isn’t a one-time conversation. Keep checking in, asking how they’re feeling, and maintaining open communication. The more teens feel supported, the more likely they are to come to you with questions or concerns. Creating an ongoing, open dialogue about alcohol will help your teen make healthier decisions and feel more confident in social situations.

For more resources, visit adf.org.au

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