Lately, I’ve been having more and more conversations with people who are thinking about retiring, about to retire, or already retired. Interestingly, people tend to talk about retirement in very different ways. Some count down the days with excitement. Others feel anxious, flat or strangely lost at the thought of stopping work. And some retire … only to return to work six months later because they miss it terribly.
Psychologically, this makes perfect sense. Work is not just about income. For many people, work provides identity, routine, purpose, social connection and a sense of competence. It gives structure to the week and often to our sense of self. When people retire, they are not simply leaving a job; they are leaving behind a role that may have shaped them for decades.
As a psychologist, I often notice that people who love their work are not necessarily the people earning the most money or working the least stressful jobs. Usually, they are people whose work aligns with their values. They feel useful. Connected. Mentally stimulated. They feel that what they do matters.
Personally, I love my work as a psychologist. I genuinely find both my academic and clinical work incredibly rewarding. It gives me purpose, structure and meaning. I love talking to people, teaching students, writing, researching and helping others make sense of themselves. Now, that doesn’t mean I love every part of work. I could happily reduce the administration side of things tomorrow; the endless forms and paperwork don’t exactly light up my soul. But the meaningful parts of my work still energise me. And I think this is an important distinction.
Sometimes when people say they hate work, what they actually hate is the exhaustion, bureaucracy, toxic workplace culture or lack of balance. When those pressures are reduced, many rediscover that they still enjoy contributing and feeling productive.
There is also something psychologically protective about staying engaged in life. Research consistently shows that people who maintain purpose, social connection and mental stimulation tend to have better mental health and cognitive wellbeing as they age. This does not mean everyone should keep working full-time forever. Absolutely not. But it does suggest that completely stopping meaningful activity can sometimes leave people feeling adrift.
I often encourage people approaching retirement to think less about what they are retiring from and more about what they are retiring to. What will fill your days? What will give you purpose? Who will you connect with? How will you challenge your mind? For some, that may involve volunteering, mentoring, part-time work, caring for grandchildren, travel, creative projects or finally taking up hobbies that were neglected for years.
Retirement is not one-size-fits-all. Some people flourish in it immediately. Others grieve the loss of identity and routine. Neither response is wrong.
Perhaps the goal is not simply to stop working, but to build a life that still feels meaningful, connected and purposeful, whether that includes paid work or not.
