Dubbed the Romeo & Juliet of the AIDS epidemic, Holding the Man follows the true story of Timothy Conigrave and his lover, John Caleo, from their high school romance until their untimely deaths. The tale continues on stage at ACT Hub until 1 April.

Like a Shakespearean novella, the tragic tale is uplifted with flickers of comedy and relatable moments, however, this story is true. The book, written by Conigrave, was released just months after his death, and adapted for stage by playwright Tommy Murphy, debuting with the Griffin Theatre Company in 2006. It has since gone on to be one of Australia’s most successful plays, produced around the world. Murphy also adapted the work for the screen.

Holding The Man is a story of a love that spans 15 years, Conigrave falls for the school captain of the football team at their Catholic boys school. Soon the pair start a relationship that grows with them as they become men; there are ups, and downs, betrayal and separation. Murphy says at the time of writing it, people were tired of hearing about AIDS.

“There was exhaustion with HIV stories and that story had been told enough. My feeling is that at a time of great loss, a very meaningful time, that you should continue to find new ways of telling that story,” he says.

The playwright was apprehensive when first commissioned for the project, feeling that he was generationally removed from a love story during the height of HIV and AIDS. Soon those fears were put to rest and Murphy realised it wasn’t a hindrance at all.

“I was coming with such a hunger and curiosity to know about that history, and about the queer heroes that I felt I was standing on the shoulders of.”

The story told through Conigrave’s eyes is raw and honest, revealing a lot of his own flaws. One of the major conflicts is that Conigrave wants an open relationship, while Caleo is happy to be with just each other.

“Tim doesn’t do what I imagine is very tempting to do as a writer of an autobiography, which would be to just make yourself the hero. He gives a lot of moral authority to John in a really remarkable way that’s very brave,” says Murphy.

While the audience might see Conigrave as a villain, Murphy says neither man is bad. They both approach things reasonably, have their own stances and genuine human needs, and make efforts to accommodate each other, which makes it such a poignant love story. Murphy says Conigrave is clear that he is the one hurting Caleo, who is forgiving, and it is obvious how much it pains both men.

“Our challenge in the writing and then in performance is to make sure that John is active and punching back and I think that’s there,” says Murphy.

Bringing the play to the Hub stage is Everyman Productions and director, Jarrad West, who first discovered the book when he was 18. He says, in a way, the book is the ultimate fantasy of finding your love in high school and remaining with them; when he was that age he would have been grateful just to know someone else was queer.

“All the things that are in the novel that I think as a young gay man growing up happen to you, that you thought were just exclusive to you; to be able to go ‘someone else has this experience’ is really wonderful,” says West.

The play has moments most Australians can relate to, such as warm summer afternoons and sipping on fruity lexia. It also acknowledges Australia’s response to the AIDS epidemic, which vastly differed to the American approach that tried to sweep it under the rug.

“We grew up with the shame of who we were because of the grim reaper commercia,l because all of a sudden we were told we were going to have a sad, lonely life,” says West.

Murphy says that frankness is attached to the HIV story; the government was frank, and people had to be honest about how many partners they had, whether they paid for sex, or injected drugs. He says Conigrave is the embodiment of frankness. On his deathbed, with nothing else to lose, he tells his story – the good, bad, ugly and moving.

West says that telling these stories is a way of honouring what current generations may owe to the ones who went before and as a way of sharing the past with the ones who come after.

“We were the villains again, we were something wrong with the world. These stories being told still, all these different aspects of what happened.”

Holding The Man at ACT Hub, Kingston, 22 March-1 April; acthub.com.au

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