2023 has now slid into 2024. Before long we will be planning for 2025. Sometimes it seems that the years slip by more and more quickly and as every year goes by, we add another unit to our age. For each stage in life, there seem to be expectations for health, behaviour and appearance. How often do you hear people of advanced years say, when talking about their health: ‘What can you expect at my age?’ How much of this do we have to accept as inevitable? Do the years under our belt really define who we are and how we function, how attractive we are?
I was looking at an old black and white photo of my mum the other day. I guess she would have been in her early twenties. As a young woman, my mum was very lovely. She had a special grace about her that made you want to look longer.
I began to think, if she was around today looking like that you would still have to say she was beautiful, but she wouldn’t fit today’s standards of beauty. Her skin was whiter, her body fleshier, her hair contrived into curls and she wore a pretty frock. Standards of beauty change.
This set me to think about what beauty really is. In each era, fashion seems to give us strict dictates as to what the ideal look is – how tanned our skin should be, how lean our body needs to be, and even the shape of our eyebrows. Not many of us fit that ideal model. So, does this mean that we are not beautiful? If we do fit those standards, are we only beautiful for a short while? Does age diminish true beauty? Our society is currently quite preoccupied with youthfulness but true youthfulness is not defined by our age but by the youthful qualities we express.
My mother knew the impact that thought has on experience. To the end, she was a strong, healthy, active woman. The qualities people saw in her – intelligence, calmness and strength in the face of trouble, joy at the little things, devotion to family and friends, innocence, resilience, energy – these qualities shone out of her right to the last. They were the qualities that people mentioned when they commented on how lovely my mother was.
Perhaps if we put as much thought and effort into developing beautiful qualities of Mind as we do our outward appearance our beauty and health would be less ephemeral and blossom with the passing years.
Contributed by Deborah Packer
