Isabelle Farlie is 10 years old – but just call her Issy. Riding a scooter around her front yard with a cheeky grin and sassy new nails, Issy is a typical kid enjoying her Easter break. Her mum, Althea Farlie, describes Issy as a “strong willed little lady”, but much of her strength has, unfortunately, come from a devastating tragedy.

“Issy’s dad was 40 when he passed away and she was seven, so three years ago now. It was quite a traumatic time with his passing because my mum had cancer at the time, and her dad and I had separated for just about a year before he passed,” Althea said.

“So, there was lots of trauma for her around that time. He passed very suddenly from a brain haemorrhage 15 days after his 40th birthday. It was a very, very hard time and it was very isolating for Issy because she was the only kid at school who had a parent pass away. It’s a hard thing to talk about or process as a little girl.”

Althea says as time has passed, things have become easier for Issy, and one major contributor in helping her grieving process has been the Feel the Magic organisation.

“A friend told me about Feel the Magic, and so I looked into it. The first thing we did was an online resource with a thermometer where Issy could point out her emotions and show how she was feeling,” Althea said.

“It helped her understand the anger and grief she felt was okay, but it’s also okay to be happy as well. You don’t have to be sad forever – you can miss him and love him, but he wants you to be happy and live a really good life.”

Feel the Magic has been a lifeline for Althea in her motherly drive to help her daughter in any way she can, and after the mainstream mental health system failed them.

“Finding psychological support and counselling is hard in Canberra. There’s massive waiting lists and not enough support. I even tried getting her into her school psychologist so she could learn more coping mechanisms, but it wasn’t available to her,” Althea said.

“Feel the Magic always offered counselling support and it’s so needed when a child is grieving. I’m all about enabling her to have a successful life and build around the trauma, and she’s a strong kid who copes well, but she needed to learn from trained counsellors who can provide additional support.”

The organisation hosts an annual Camp Magic, where kids across the ACT region unite to spend the weekend together and feel understood, accepted, and learn how to grieve in a healthy and meaningful way.

“Issy went to her first camp in 2020 and it was so good for her. She was quite nervous, as you would be, and she wasn’t comfortable talking about her feelings at the best of times, but they did so well matching her with the perfect counsellor,” smiled Althea.

In her own words, Issy likes going to camp because it’s “really fun and you get to make new friends”.

“I’ve gotten along with two people, and I like the staff – they’re very nice. Everyone is just nice there. They’ve just made me feel included because all of my friends have dads, and they always talk about them and I feel like an outcast,” Issy told CW.

“When my dad passed away, it felt very confusing because a little bit before that my dad and my mum had broken up, and my sister went back to her actual mum, and it was all just happening very quickly.

“It’s gotten a bit easier I think, but it’s just very annoying, I guess. I keep having dreams and I keep thinking maybe if he actually got help this wouldn’t have happened.”

Althea recommends Feel the Magic and Camp Magic to any other parent or guardian looking for resources to help their grieving child.

“Death is really isolating, and you don’t realise other people have had that experience as well. The Feel the Magic team help you build relationships with people who get it,” Althea said.

“It might not be the answer to everything, but it just fills in those little gaps. As a parent, it’s really hard to know how to support your child, but they have just provided me with that support and to know what I can do.

“It’s just such an important initiative. It needs to be out there and for people to know it actually exists, and it’s for a broad age group as well so all the different needs are met. There’s just such little support for grief out there.”

Feel the Magic free camps and resources for grieving children

Not-for-profit charity organisation, Feel the Magic, offer their free camp every year for kids in Canberra to grow, grieve, and share some laughs together.

CEO of Camp Magic, Adam Blatch, has always had a passion for working with children, which led him down the path of charity work with disadvantaged kids.

“Camp Magic is a very positive program that helps kids going through the worst experience of their life. I just love what we do,” Mr Blatch said.

“For kids who experience the death of a loved one, it can have a lifetime effect on their mental health, and we know that suicide and depression can be some of the lifetime mental health challenges they can face.

“Our programs are clinically based and aim to change the way kids think. It’s not a respite or getaway; it helps them face, feel, and heal their grief, and give them strategies to live with that grief.”

National program coordinator of Feel the Magic, Nicole Suffling, knows first-hand what’s it’s like to suffer the loss of a parent.

“I joined Feel the Magic in 2014. I was looking for help because I unfortunately had lost my dad. I was 25, but my brother was 14, and I was looking for something to help him and we found this amazing community who just understood what we were feeling,” Ms Suffling said.

“Going to Camp Magic and finding other people who were experiencing the isolation we were feeling was warming and comforting and we knew we weren’t alone.”

She said the most rewarding part of working at Camp Magic for her is seeing the growth from the kids across the span of one weekend. From teens who were refusing to go into the camp, to watching them get angry because they don’t want to leave at the end.

“To anyone thinking of joining us at Camp Magic, it’s okay and we are here to support you. From personal experience, I know it can be quite daunting, especially if your child is hesitant, but just bring them along,” she said.

“We have support from the beginning and right through the program… and it will be okay.”

Both Mr Blatch and Ms Suffling have put a call out to potential volunteers in Canberra to support kids like Issy – and they need them now.

“Our camp programs can’t run without the support of our volunteers within the ACT and we are looking for more right now. In particular, we are looking for male mentor campers of all ages above 18,” Ms Suffling said.

“Every camper is matched up with an adult on the weekend. No skills are required, we will take you through all the training to be a mentor, you just need to have all the compliances to work with children. We need a range of hobbies and interests, because we have all kinds of different kids.”

Camp Magic in the ACT is running from Friday 29 April to Sunday 1 May.

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