A finalist in Lifeline Canberra’s 2022 Women of Spirit Awards, Adele Auva’a is a survivor, a proud Samoan woman, and a community mentor to young girls. Above all that, however, she’s a mum of two.
“Straight up, being a single mum is the one hurdle I’m still overcoming to this day,” says Adele.
“Growing up in our culture, we always saw that you stay in your relationship – whether you’re happy or you’re not, because it’s that union, supposedly, that will carry you.”
With a megawatt smile and biceps that could curl a motorcycle, very few would be surprised today that Adele is not only capable of carrying herself, but simultaneously lifting up her community.
However, after losing her sister, then leaving a violent marriage in the heat of the pandemic, it did come as a surprise to Adele.
“Ever since I left my marriage, I feel way stronger because I can actually say things, where before I was silenced,” she says.
The now 35-year-old was shocked to learn that her friends and colleagues, Mel Cringle and Niva Pryor, had nominated her for Lifeline Canberra’s award for women overcoming personal adversity.
“I didn’t know until they gave me the form to sign. You just go about your work on the daily, not realising that along the way there’s people watching and wanting the best for you.
“For me, being nominated was a celebration of community… I’ve always said that community means unity.”
One of seven siblings (“already a township!”), and raised in the Samoan community, Adele has always been surrounded by people.
“I’ve also always said that you’re the sum of the five people who you surround yourself with on the regular.”
Adele met her ex-husband when she was just 18. “I used to surround myself with people who were also in a toxic space, like I was, gravitating towards them.”
In 2018, she lost her sister, Lish, to a blood disease – a heartbreaking event that would lead Adele to change her life, and the lives of her children and the community around her.
“The day I buried my sister, my husband and I were in the carpark of the cemetery. I hadn’t organised the kids’ lunches because I was busy organising the funeral, and when he realised, he slapped me across the face in that car park.
“I had to hit rock bottom to start moving again,” Adele says.
“I used to be 140 kilos. I felt about 3,000 kilos with everything else I was carrying in my life.
“I started working out again to help with my grief.”
Adele met Mel at 5am, on her first day at F45. The first person she would speak to at the gym, Mel cheered her on to take part in an eight-week fitness challenge.
“In that challenge, I ended up releasing 22 kilos in eight weeks. I feel like it all started there, with Mel, a random person I happened to sit next to.”
As she built physical strength, Adele was also storing away the mental strength to leave her marriage, fuelled by the support she found at the gym.
During that time, she founded Team Lish. After her sister lost her battle, Adele hoped to become a plasma donor, “but our blood markers as a family weren’t good”.
Team Lish began as a challenge for just Adele, her parents, and siblings, to be examples of how anybody can become fit and healthy.
“We all got on this bandwagon to do it for Lish and put it out there as a family that we’re going to honour her and start working out. It was all about getting healthy and raising awareness.
“Next thing you know, people were asking if they could join the workout.
“I reached out to Muscle Effect in Taylor, a Polynesian family who run boot camps. We put on a free outdoor boot camp for a couple of weeks, getting up to 40, 50 people.”
As well as changing the lives of her family and friends, Adele lost 56kg, enabling her to become a regular plasma donor.
“You can move at home, you can go for a walk for free, but it hits different when you’re with people doing the same thing as you,” she smiled.
In 2021, Adele’s daughter looked up at her and asked, ‘How come Daddy’s always mean to you?’
“I said I don’t know, then she said, ‘He’s not mean to me, but he’s always mean to you.’
“That same week my son spat on me. When I told him, ‘We don’t spit’ he said, ‘Daddy does it, so I can.’
“If they hadn’t said anything, I probably would have just stayed.”
Refusing to let the situation go on any longer, Adele made the terrifying decision to leave during lockdown.
“I really feared for my safety. I’d already made upwards of 70 police reports, and it was tough because I knew the stats.
“I had already spoken to Lifeline a few times. I knew that because of COVID and the lockdowns, domestic violence was rife. Many were experiencing abuse for the first time.
“I didn’t even call half the time because in my mind, there’s people that needed it more than me,” says Adele. “I’d just be another person clogging up the line.
“Through the process, I almost wanted to seek his permission. We’d been in a relationship for 17 years.
“I said, ‘I need to leave. I don’t know where I’m going.’ I didn’t have a job then either. He said, ‘You’re never leaving.’ And almost because he said that, I thought, ‘nah, I’m making this happen’.”
Adele knew that the first thing she would need to be able to leave was a job.
“Ever since my sister passed away, I always knew that whatever I do, I’m doing because I want to, not because of the money.”
With the help of a fellow gym member who knew Adele and her then-husband through the local Samoan community, and Niva Pryor, owner of F45 Braddon and Dickson, Adele became a coach in the very gym where she found her strength again.
In December 2021, she moved out of the home that she shared with her now ex-husband, who left the country soon after.
“It’s funny because I have always used working out as a mental health relief. I used to work out harder when I was in my marriage, but it was doing nothing for me because I was still super stressed.
“Now I’m almost half-arsing my workouts and getting better results,” she smiled. “My kids are heaps better. I feel like all of the facets of my life are going amazing.
“Also, my friends and the members of the F45 bought me a car!”
Knowing that Adele had been grinding to save up for means of transportation, Adele’s friends and community fundraised $25,000 for a car in secret.
“Then they presented it to me and my kids … I cried my eyes out. I’ve done a lot of crying in my life, but I have never cried like that before hey,” she smiles.
“I had always cried behind closed doors, but when they presented me the car, I just didn’t care.”
Adele now speaks at high schools across Canberra, helping young girls understand that no matter how many challenges life throws at you, there is always someone to guide you out of the darkness.
“To any young girl out there in the same position as I was, I want to say, the longer you stay silent, the louder it becomes.”
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence, you can call or visit the website of:
- 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732
- Canberra Rape Crisis Centre: 02 6247 2525
- Domestic Violence Crisis Service ACT: 02 6280 0900
- Lifeline: 13 11 14
- In an emergency, call 000
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