Adolescence can be a confusing time, especially when you’re trying to figure out who you are and how to connect with others. As a clinical psychologist, I’ve seen many young people face these challenges, so here’s a simple guide to help you be yourself and make lasting friendships.

First, it’s important to understand who you are. Adolescence is a time of self-discovery, and you might not have everything figured out just yet—and that’s completely normal. Take the time to explore what excites you, whether it’s music, art, or sports. It’s okay to change and grow as you discover more about yourself.

Building confidence and self-esteem is essential for making friends. When you feel good about who you are, it’s easier to connect with others. You might experience moments of self-doubt, but try focusing on what makes you unique. Celebrate your strengths, whether it’s being a good listener or having a talent for solving problems. Acknowledge these qualities and be kind to yourself, especially when things don’t go perfectly.

Making friends involves communication, so it’s important to practice talking to others. Start with small conversations that feel comfortable, and with time, it will get easier. Ask about people’s hobbies, interests, or favourite activities. These simple conversations often lead to deeper connections. You don’t need to say anything perfect; just be yourself and let the conversation flow naturally.

Building strong friendships takes time and trust, so take it slowly. Share personal things gradually and let connections grow naturally. If a friend is upset or struggling, empathise with them by saying things like, “I’m sorry you’re struggling” or “I’m here if you need me”. This helps create deeper bonds without rushing things.

Setting healthy boundaries is also important. Knowing when to say “no” and protecting your time and energy helps ensure your relationships remain balanced. If you’re feeling tired or overwhelmed, it’s okay to turn down plans. Putting yourself first when needed keeps friendships healthy and respectful.

Body image is another important part of adolescence. Many young people struggle with how they look, but it’s important to remember that your worth is not determined by your appearance. Confidence comes from within. Focus on what makes you feel strong, healthy, and happy, and avoid comparing yourself to others. Self-love is essential for building meaningful, supportive friendships.

Becoming yourself and making friends takes time, patience, and practice. Understand who you are, focus on building confidence, and create healthy relationships. And remember, asking for help along the way is okay. With time and self-compassion, you’ll form the connections you deserve.