A Canberra mum was recently announced as one of two ACT winners in Suicide Prevention Australia’s LiFE Awards. Leesa Mountford was nominated by OzHelp for founding ‘I Got You,’ after her son died by suicide in April 2021.

Joshua Clarke was just 25 years old. He had worked in construction and had been offered an apprenticeship that same week.

“It shattered me,” said Leesa, tearing up. “It was, and it will be, the worst phone call I’ll ever receive.

“It destroyed who I was really, as a mum to a son. My only son.

“While I was cleaning out Josh’s belongings, doing the crappy life admin that needs to be done for somebody, I came across his diary. In it he had written ‘I got you’.

“His sisters had spoken about how Josh would say ‘I got you’ instead of saying ‘I love you’. It can mean so much, those three simple words.”

Leesa formed the idea to print Josh’s handwritten note on clothing, in hopes that somebody experiencing their darkest day would see the message and remember that there is always someone to talk to. 

By selling the apparel, I Got You raises money for OzHelp, a Fyshwick-based not-for-profit that was established in 2001 after David O’Bryan, a young building apprentice, took his own life.

OzHelp now focuses on providing mental health programs for workers in “high-risk, hard-to-reach” industries.

When Josh died, Leesa, his younger sister Taylor, and several of his work mates accessed counselling through OzHelp.

Last April, Leesa held a legacy fundraiser in honour of her son. “It was a simple schnitzel dinner. Josh was pretty down to earth. Nothing fancy about him,” she smiled. “We had no expectations.”

Two hundred and twenty-eight people attended that night.

“We auctioned off some of Josh’s tradie mates for jobs and all the money was donated to Oz Help.”

By the time the event ended, they had raised just over $19,000. “Our minds were blown.”

“We’ve decided that we’re going again,” said Leesa. The fundraiser will take place on Saturday 15 April at Ainslie Football Club. Three hundred tickets are available for the event, which will include Paralympian Kathryn Ross as a guest speaker, bidding ballots, live auctions, and a sizable raffle.

“There is plenty of fun to be had, all in the name of Josh and looking out for one another.”

This year, Leesa and Taylor will also be creating a video that will go into OzHelp’s Life Skills toolbox program, along with a suicide awareness course. The program is delivered to apprentices.

“We’re interviewing Josh’s mates about how his suicide impacted them, and some tips on how they look after their mental health.

“We’re raising awareness so that other families don’t have to go through what we are going through,” said Leesa.

Taylor and ‘I Got You’

Taylor, who is now 22, said she still can’t explain the impact her brother’s suicide had on her.

“I still don’t believe it’s real, to be very honest with you. Like, I know it’s real, but inside it’s as if someone’s playing a trick on me. It’s not a funny one, but I’d prefer that.

“It’s one of those things where, I would hear about someone at school or someone’s family member who had suicided, and I would always think, ‘God. That’s so horrible.’

“And then it happens to you. And it’s more than horrible. It’s the worst thing. You question yourself, what could I have done? What should I have done? Why didn’t I pick up on this, or that?”

At such an early age, Taylor and younger sister Mackenzie found that the worst moment of their lives had already come to pass.

“It was the darkest time I think I will probably ever experience … But all of a sudden, everyone was there. In a heartbeat, the people that we needed were there, even if they lived hours away.”

Through helping her mum with I Got You, Taylor hopes to get the message out there that “You don’t need a degree in anything to be there for someone”.

“We say things like, ‘It’ll be all right, don’t worry about it’ and ‘Let it go. It’s not even that big of a deal.’ Well, it is to someone, and if that person is shut down, they’re not going to reopen about it.

“Especially with young men, we’ve seen it in the statistics,” Taylor said.

“If your friend is speaking to you and you feel you can’t help, then support them to get that help: ‘Let’s call Lifeline. Let’s go to the doctor. Let’s have a coffee, talk to me, what’s going on in your life?’,” said Leesa.

“A big thing I see in I Got You is taking the responsibility on yourself to reach out to someone,” said Taylor.

“Some people won’t speak up, but when you start the conversation, you’re telling that person that you’re there, you’ve got them.”

“We are so grateful Mum has turned a very horrible and heartbreaking situation into something amazing, while keeping our Joshy’s memory alive,” she wrote in her mother’s LiFE nomination.

“Mum is our inspiration and has never failed to amaze us with her strength.

“We got you, Mum.”

If this story raised concerns, call or visit the website of Lifeline (13 11 14) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636). In an emergency, call 000.

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