When 18-year-old Canberra woman, Cristina Silvestri, was chosen to compete for Australia in Miss Diamond International this September, she immediately knew which charity she wanted to represent.
A couple of months ago, Cristina was dipping her toe in the local modelling scene whilst on her gap year, when she came across the Miss Diamond pageant on Facebook.
“There’s so much stigma surrounding beauty pageants being toxic. What I love about Miss Diamond is that there are no age, height, or weight restrictions,” said Christina.
“And for Miss Diamond International, every contestant gets to pick a charity that they raise money and awareness for. Not just any charity, but a charity close to their heart.
“I’ve always wanted to do something big with my life, to make as big an impact as I could.”
She applied not expecting to get in.
“I was contacted about a week later and was chosen to represent Australia.
“This is my first ever beauty pageant – first time doing anything like this really,” she laughed. “Win or lose, I just want to make a difference.”
Thus far, every dollar raised on Cristina’s pageant journey has gone to Butterfly Foundation, Australia’s only national charity for eating disorders.
Over 1 million Aussies live with an eating disorder, and less than a quarter receive treatment or support, despite eating disorders having the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.
“This charity is so important to me because I have struggled with various eating disorders in the past. It’s very ongoing and I felt very alone for so long,” said Cristina.
“It wasn’t that I didn’t have the support – I did. It was the fact that I just didn’t want the support. I felt like recovering wasn’t a reality.
“When you’re in the depths of an eating disorder, you can be on the verge of death and still not want to recover. It takes control of your life. You feel like you’re literally a prisoner to the scale.
“Looking back, I thought that having the ‘perfect body’ would make me happy, but in reality, no matter how low that number on the scale got, I was never satisfied,” she smiled sadly.
Voted ‘Miss Smiles’ in her high school year book, no one outside of Cristina’s family knew that the bubbly, effervescent teen was losing her hair, her happiness, and her health.
“Even when I was deep in my eating disorder, I always had a smile on my face. Nobody besides my closest friends knew that I was fighting for my life.”
“When I first told Butterfly Foundation my story, I didn’t know who else to go to.”
Through their chat line, the Foundation convinced Cristina to take a single step – go to her GP.
There, she was administered a blood test. “When the results came back, I was low on everything. Low on iron, low on magnesium, every single vitamin you can think of, I was low on.
“My doctor told me that if I was to continue like this, I would die, ‘All this sacrifice, for what?’ She was completely right; it wasn’t worth it. That’s when it hit me, ‘what am I doing to myself?’
“Recovery is not something people can force you to do,” said Cristina. “You need to choose that; you need to want it. All I want to do now is help people realise that you don’t have to live like this. You are worth so much more than that number on the scale.”
While she originally raised awareness for the Foundation more generally, the attention garnered ultimately led to Cristina revealing her own story on local television.
Her story spread from a few close friends to her entire community knowing overnight.
“I was so ashamed of having an eating disorder. A lot of people who knew me had no idea that I had been struggling in silence for so many years. I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want people to think that they needed to fix me or help me – I was very much comfortable in chaos.
“At the tipping point, I struggled for a bit, then thought, no, this is something I want to do.
“Even though it was hard to talk about, me staying in the shadow was not making the difference that I wanted.
“Eating was something that I felt I had to struggle with in silence. I don’t feel that way anymore,” Cristina smiled.
“I was scared that I was going to receive a lot of hate for it. I was scared that people were going to say, ‘This girl, she’s broken, she’s damaged.’ It had the complete opposite effect.
“Close friends and people I didn’t even know reached out on Instagram with their own stories saying, ‘I’ve never told anyone this in my life, I’ve struggled for the past three years,’ or ‘I’m struggling right now’.”
As her journey towards the crown continues, Cristina refers more and more outreach to Butterfly Foundation and hopes to become a spokesperson for the non-profit after the pageant’s culmination.
“An eating disorder is not a lifestyle choice or a cry for help, it’s a disease, and recovery is a reality. An eating disorder doesn’t need to take control of your life. You are perfect the way you are. You are enough.”
Support Cristina at justgiving.com/fundraising/Cristina-Silvestri
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