The diamond engagement ring has long been as symbolic of commitment and love as the wedding itself, with countless theories on how much should be spent on the gesture.
High-profile proposals like Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s are often punctuated by the eye-watering price of the ring that dwarfs the cost of many weddings entirely (some experts estimate Jodie Haydon’s rock is valued around $240,000).
However, recent studies suggest that the price tag doesn’t correlate to the marriage’s staying power in the way many think. In fact, the opposite may be true.
“Many couples place undue emphasis on the material value of the engagement ring rather than focusing on the emotional significance of their commitment, certainly something fuelled by the wedding and jewel industry,” Michael Tiyce from Sydney family law firm, Tiyce & Lawyers says.
“The pressure to conform to societal expectations can lead to overspending on a ring, which research indicates does not necessarily reflect the strength of the relationship, with higher cost certainly not indicating a lower divorce rate.”
Research from the US indicates a sweet spot in the cost of an engagement ring and the correlated divorce rate, with $500-$2,000 being the cost of the ring most likely to stay put.
Rather than banking on a flashy ring doing the work, here are Mr Tiyce’s top tips for financially navigating your engagement and picking a rock that’s right for you:
1. Open communication: The foundation of any successful partnership is open and honest communication. Start by discussing your individual financial situations, including income, savings, debts, and financial goals. Establishing a shared understanding of your financial picture lays the groundwork for making informed decisions together.
2. Budget: Establishing a budget is the first step in the ring selection process. Consider your financial situation and determine how much you can comfortably afford to spend on a wedding ring without straining your finances. Remember that the price of the ring should align with your overall wedding budget.
3. Setting priorities: Identify your priorities as a couple when it comes to the engagement process and ultimately the wedding. Determine what aspects are most important to each member of the relationship, whether it’s the proposal, the celebration, or the getaway. By aligning your priorities, you can allocate your resources accordingly and avoid potential conflicts.
4. Flexibility and adaptability: Remain flexible and adaptable throughout the engagement process. Unexpected expenses or changes in circumstances may arise, requiring you to adjust your plans accordingly. By staying open-minded and resourceful, you can navigate any financial challenges that come your way.
5. Celebrate meaningfully: Remember that the value of your engagement lies in the love and commitment you share as a couple, not the price tag of your ring or the extravagance of your celebration. Focus on creating meaningful and memorable moments together that reflect your unique relationship.
6. Teamwork and support: Approach your engagement and nuptials as a team, supporting and encouraging each other every step of the way. By working together to manage your finances and plan your engagement, you’ll strengthen your bond as a couple and lay the foundation for a lifetime of shared adventures.
7. Negotiating expectations: Be prepared to negotiate and compromise on certain aspects of your engagement plans. If one partner has their heart set on a particular element, such as an elaborate proposal or a destination, discuss how you can make it work within your budget or explore alternative options.
8. Future financial goals: Think about your future financial goals and priorities when choosing the price of a wedding ring. Another reason to avoid unnecessary overspending is the sacrifice of savings or the delaying of other important financial milestones necessary for a couple, such as home buying or family needs. Strike a balance between investing in your relationship and planning for the future.
With the correlation of cost and longevity not a bellwether of a successful marriage, it should instead reflect a couple’s financial situation, values and future aspirations. Being sucked into the marketing of and traditional perspectives on engagement rings can be hard to avoid, however, the cost should never be interpreted as an indicator of a successful marriage.
