Undertaking a vital role in helping others live their day-to-day lives, carers are often overlooked or go unrecognised. However, Unconditional a new documentary created by Canberra filmmaker Dalanglin Dkhar aims to showcase the love, sacrifice and dedication of those who care for their family members.

When Ms Dkhar’s son was diagnosed with autism 11 years ago, she became his primary carer. The young boy, now 13 and still non-speaking, is dependent on his mother to meet all his needs.

“Since then, I have not worked… During Covid I got onto this crazy idea of thinking ‘Why don’t I try and look at studying further?’, I completed my masters in documentary filmmaking years ago’” says Ms Dkhar.

Currently pursuing her PhD at Charles Sturt University (CSU) and with a history of making documentaries for TV and film, Ms Dkhar says it was a natural progression to blend her documentary-making past with her present life.

“Having lived the life of a carer, it comes so naturally to me to be passionate about it and to feel like I am a real insider if I want to make this my research topic,” says Ms Dkhar.

Supported by Carers ACT and CSU, the documentary was shaped around Ms Dkhar’s intimate knowledge of the carer’s life and academic research. Directing, producing and writing Unconditional meant there was no bandwidth for Ms Dkhar to share her own story, so they put a call out for local carers.

Through the lens of four Canberra region carers, the film captures the emotional and physical challenges that carers face each day. While all the carers are connected through their unwavering commitment to those they look after, they each have a different story as to how they came to be carers.

“They represent very different caring experiences and the people they cared for are all different in what that meant for the carer. They all had very different stories to tell which I hoped could encapsulate a little bit of the spectrum of what a carer’s journey is like.”

Like many carers who stumble into their journey after an illness or accident, dedicated family man Razi became a carer to his mother after she was diagnosed with Guillain-Barré syndrome. Now, 15 years later he is the carer for both his aging parents.

A carer for not just one but four of his family members, Craig cares for his wife who suffered a stroke, his autistic son and two adult daughters who are dependent due to disabilities that formed in adulthood.

“He is one we call a lifelong carer because in his journey he will be caring, like myself, until we move on, until we pass away,” says Ms Dkhar.

Parents caring for children is a common occurrence in the carer community, like Deborah, a First Nations mother who cares for her adult autistic, nonverbal son. Mother of an adult daughter with cystic fibrosis, Megan’s caring journey has changed as her daughter moved into independent living though it continues.

Unlike other documentaries she has made, Ms Dkhar didn’t spend days and weeks with the subjects. Understanding their hefty and unpredictable workload, she completed filming with each carer wihtin just a few hours. Allowing the carers to see rough and fine cuts, Ms Dkhar says she saw everyone involved as collaborators creating something to give the audience a deeper insight into their lives.

“We have this shared experience, it wasn’t just me being behind the camera and them being in front, there was this link between us because we both live that experience every day.”

Caring can be an isolating experience says Ms Dkhar. The further she delved into the lives of carers, she realised that outside of the carer community, people didn’t understand the true cost of the role.

“By cost, I mean the impact that it has on our physical health, our mental health, our long-term capacity to continue in this role efficiently and effectively.”

A job with no superannuation, sick or paid leave, Ms Dkhar says many carers don’t have the chance to holiday or spend a weekend relaxing, a lot of them don’t even have the time to spend with friends.

“A lot of carers get into a place of deep depression, anxiety about the future of the people they care for. They absorb the trauma of the people they care for and sometimes the carers themselves end up with a disability, they end up with chronic illnesses because of all the decades of caring.”

There are more than 2.65 million carers across Australia, 50,000 of those reside in Canberra. Ms Dkhar says the number may be higher with many carers not recognising that is what they are. She says at some point in life everyone will either become a carer or someone who is cared for.

The nature of the job itself, sees the carer blend into the background, sometimes even forgetting themselves as the role and life they care for are all-encompassing. Unconditional shines a spotlight on the strength and resilience of those who love unconditionally, and Ms Dkhar hopes the community will send a little love to the carers in their circles.

“Carers need care, research has shown that when carers are recognised and supported, their mental health, their physical health, their wellbeing improves and that’s hard data. If we can help carers by doing that then we can really help not only the carer, but the people they care for be in a much better place,” she says.

As for her own caring journey, although she has gone through hard times, grief and confusion, Ms Dhkar wouldn’t change a thing.

“When I look back at these 11 years being with him and having this sort of gap on my CV, I don’t look at it as empty, I look at it as a full, deep experience,” she smiles. “He has given me the courage to spread into a new avenue.”

In talks with stakeholders and networks, Ms Dkhar says they are planning to send Unconditional to film festivals and then want to make it accessible to a wide audience. The best way to help them along is to follow their social media and comment on the website that you are keen to watch this film.

Stay up to date with Unconditional; unconditionalfilm.com.au

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