As Father’s Day nears and many of us prepare festivities, it’s important to also extend support and acknowledgement to the fathers who will be grieving the loss of an infant or child.
In the past year, Red Nose Australia has provided over 5,300 counselling sessions to grieving families through their 24/7 support services.
However, just one in five of those who reached out for counselling were men.
In the lead up to this Father’s Day, a group of dads have gone the extra mile, joining Red Cross in creating ‘Fathers of Loss’ – a series of support videos accessible online for bereaved dads who may not be ready to ask for help.
Each of the fathers have experienced the loss of a baby. Among them, Adelaide Crows captain Rory Sloane whose son, Leo, was stillborn not long before Father’s Day four years ago.
“I hope this new Red Nose video series, especially for grieving dads, can provide some much-needed support, practical advice and hope to those who sadly find themselves in the same position as myself. I am proud to be involved in this project,” Mr Sloane said.
Each video in the 10-part series explores a different topic based on feedback supplied by Red Nose, from grieving dads who said they often felt they needed to set their own grief aside to support their partner, all the while feeling like their own world had collapsed.
The series delves into what worked and what didn’t for the Fathers of Loss, in a bid to help others going through the same pain.
The project was funded by Sydney 2 CAMberra, an annual bike ride created by Sydney couple, Graham and Nadine Belfield, who lost their son Cameron to stillbirth.
In preparation for Sunday 5 September, here are some pointers as told by the Fathers of Loss, on what could be helpful for those in your life who may be grieving.
Unhelpful
- Silence. No communication. Friends or family being too scared to make contact because they didn’t know what to say to us in case we were upset. Of course we were upset, but we needed them around us.
- Sayings like ‘Everything happens for a reason’, ‘You can have more kids’, or ‘Focus on the children you have’. They’re common, cutting, and awful.
- Pretending like nothing happened.
Helpful
- Acknowledge our child was here and born, say their name.
- It might be very uncomfortable for you but try to get past that and reach out.
- Say ‘I want to do this for you, would that be okay?’
Fathers of Loss can be accessed here and on YouTube: https://rednosegriefandloss.org.au/fathers-of-loss
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