Amanda Heal’s name is an aptronym – a Canberran Usain Bolt or William Wordsworth.

In 1970, two baby girls were born at just 26 weeks. Their father could hold one in each hand.

One wouldn’t survive, while her sister fought and screamed and tried to pull her tubes out. They gave her little mittens to stop her from doing so, and she would live on – only without her sight.

“They used a tissue and a tiny gold safety pin as my nappy,” smiled Amanda.

She started at Turner Primary School in 1975. Before then, blind children were sent interstate for their education, but her father and a group of parents lobbied for integration, not wanting to send their children away.

Attending school in a sighted world, Amanda said she didn’t know any different.

“My favourite teacher was my science teacher, Mrs Sutton. She once asked everyone to put their hands up if they wanted to be scientists, and I really liked science, so I did.

“When the class started working, this dear woman, she took me outside and it was a frosty Canberra morning. She sat me on a seat, took my hand and said, ‘Look, I believe you can do anything you want to do, but at the moment, technology is not advanced enough to let you be a scientist’.

“Luckily, I didn’t have my heart set on being a scientist,” Amanda chuckled. “But she was one of the first people to say, ‘I believe in you’.

“At the end of it, my dad was right all along. Integrating us was a success.”

Amanda would go on to graduate ANU with honours in law in 1995 and work as a government lawyer for 17 years. After almost two decades in the public service, she would suddenly lose her career to downsizing.

“I can still remember like it was yesterday,” she said. “There was no warning, they just called a staff meeting about ‘restructuring’.

“At the end, I went into my office and shut the door. Outside, someone started to cry.

“All I could do was sit and sip water. I couldn’t think, couldn’t concentrate. I couldn’t cry.

“My parents had always led me to believe that if you get a job with the government, you’ve got a job for life.”

Like so many Canberrans over the past two years, Amanda was let go on 21 December just before Christmas.

She went through a journey that’s all-to-familiar for those who lost their footing in the pandemic, sitting on the couch googling what to do next, taking a fall into ill-advised business ventures, taking an actual fall, and winding up on the couch once more, and finally, learning to be okay.

She shares her journey in her new book Seeing by Vision, Not by Sight, along with lessons learnt such as building courage, dealing with change, and how to deal with attacks of the “why-bothers”

“Even though right now you’re suffering terrible grief, and terrible loss, you will be okay. This too will pass,” she writes.

She shares an anecdote about breaking meaningful goals into bite-sized pieces and getting a little bit braver with each triumph.

“When I got Sadie [pictured], part of guide dog training is learning how to catch a bus. All I had to do was get on a bus with an instructor, travel one stop, cross the road, and catch the bus back home.

“I had a migraine by the end because I’d become so convinced that if I got on a bus by myself, I would get lost to disastrous ends.

“Even the sound of a bus going past made my heart race.

“When Guide Dogs offered me a job as a PR speaker, they asked how I was going to get to jobs.  I said, ‘A taxi, of course! Like any other self-respecting speaker who can’t drive’.

“To which they replied that I would have to get to as many jobs as possible by public transport, and I nearly threw up in the interviewer’s lap.

“But I remembered reading that ‘to be a good communicator, you have to be authentic’.

“I thought, I can’t stand up and talk about independence and how good guide dogs are, if I get driven everywhere.

“I broke my goal down into little pieces. I started getting on and off a stationary bus.

“Once I got that down, I got used to finding a seat. Then the bus went round-and-round the block, and I would ring the bell and get off, get back on, ring the bell.

“Finally, Sadie and I went on a short trip with the instructor next to me.

“Eventually I got on the bus from home and met the instructor in Civic, and now I travel all over Canberra to speak.

“I also train Canberra’s bus drivers on how to make bus travel more accessible for people who are blind.

“And I have gotten lost. And it was okay.”

Seeing by Vision, Not by Sight can be purchased for $37.45 at purposevisionfuture.com

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