Have you ever listened to how you speak to your body? Do you talk about what you think is wrong with it and what you want to change about it? For example, my body is too fat or flabby. And how does it make you feel when you do this?
Unfortunately, feeling negative or dissatisfied with your body is a common occurrence, especially for young people. It’s seen as ‘normal,’ for females in particular, to not like their weight, shape or size.
How we feel about our body can affect our mood, self-esteem, eating, engagement in exercise, socialising, romantic relationships and anxiety. In extreme cases, a person with a very negative body image can develop an eating disorder, a severe mental health condition that affects a person’s mental and physical wellbeing.
The reason for this dissatisfaction comes from our internalisation of beauty ideals portrayed in the media around what weight, shape and size is seen as attractive for either gender. When we internalise these ideals, compare our bodies to them and see a difference, we often feel less happy with our own body.
Diet culture also has a lot to answer for where we are obsessed with weight loss, needing to be thinner, smaller, more toned or more muscular. We know, for example, that early dieting is a risk factor for an eating disorder, as well as teasing about our appearance and weight by peers and family. Sexual trauma can also make us feel bad about our bodies.
So, what can we do to feel better about our bodies? I use the analogy of talking to yourself like you are your best friend, someone you speak to with appreciation, respect and kindness. When we are respectful towards our body, we talk to it nicely, we feed it, we give it rest, we move it, and do fun things with it.
We can also reject media messages around ‘idealised’ bodies and rather celebrate diversity in appearance, including in what a ‘healthy’ body looks like. Unfollowing celebrities and social media sites that promote dieting and weight loss can help to reduce the impact of diet culture. Having a bit of a social media detox can offer relief and lessen the internalisation of negative body messages.
Think about your body and all the wonderful things it does. For example, my arms help me hug my children tightly. My bottom helps me sit comfortably at school. My tummy helps support my posture. My face makes people happy when I smile.
Accept compliments. We receive them all the time, when someone smiles at us, says it’s nice to see us, compliments our outfit. When someone says something positive about you or your body, accept it, don’t just shrug it off. Say ‘thank you’ and really think about the compliment. Write it down and store it for when you need a pick-me-up.
Dr Lewis’ self-help book, Positive Bodies: Loving the Skin You’re In, is available at australianacademicpress.com.au. For further information and support, visit butterfly.org.au
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