Childrenโs routines have changed dramatically within a matter of weeks due to the Coronavirus outbreak. Along with the likelihood that theyโre no longer going to school or daycare, theyโre unable to socialise with their friends too.
Just as adults around the world are turning to technology to stay in touch, whether itโs via videoconference for work, or Facetime to catch up with friends, kids need to be afforded the same ability to say in touch with their social networks.
Clinical psychologist Dr Aliza Werner-Seidler, from the Black Dog Institute, says socialising with friends is an incredibly important aspect of childrenโs lives, especially for teenagers, and should be encouraged. Realising it will probably buck the trend of many home rules, she says special allowances could be given to teens so that they can socialise with their friends digitally โ as long as they abide by some rules.
โSocial media and sensationalised news outlets and
commentary is probably not the best thing for them to be spending time on at
the moment as it can be full of incorrect information and increase anxiety
around the Coronoavirus outbreak,โ she says.
โAnd of course, we want them to be getting a good nightโs sleep so they need to switch off at a reasonable hour. But allowing teens to chat online with their friends over this time is incredibly important and parents should be encouraging them to do so.โ
Recognising that friends are among the most important people in a teenโs life, Dr Werner-Seidler says allowing them lots of contact with each other will help teens process and support each other in the anxiety and stress caused over this time.
โTheir routines are drastically changing so maintaining existing connections is one way of keeping some sense of normalcy. Itโs also important to focus on their interests and see if they can adapt them for an online experience. If they enjoy playing guitar, encourage them to do it online with their friends and learn new songs that way.โ
When it comes to younger children, Dr Werner-Seidler says parents can expect behavioural changes as they pick up on their parentโs feelings of anxiety and worry more than we realise. Theyโre also likely to be confused about their routines changing.
โThey donโt have the social skills to tell you what theyโre feeling so youโre more likely see changes in their behaviour than what theyโre saying. Younger kids will be looking up to their parents to know which boundaries have changed and which ones are still in place.โ
Advice for parents with teens
- Accept they cannot fully process risk in the same way as adults.
Many teens wonโt stay in just because you tell them thereโs a risk to their health if they go out. It can be frustrating but this has been scientifically to be shown because their brains havenโt finished developing yet. Their prefrontal cortex โ the part that deals with decision making and risk assessment โ doesnโt stop developing until theyโre young adults. Try to understand this when talking to them, theyโre not trying to be rebellious, they just canโt always understand. Itโs important to be firm, but you can try to reason with them too.
- Relationships donโt have to stop because you canโt see each other.
Many teenagers are going to struggle knowing they canโt see their boyfriends/girlfriends while theyโre staying at home in isolation. Itโs tricky but also a great opportunity to encourage them todevelop the social foundations of a relationship too. This return to traditional ideals may not be popular now, but might benefit teens with their relationships in the long run.
Advice for parents with younger kids
- Establish a new routine.
Children thrive off routine. They want to know whatโs happening and that their parents are still in control. Try to work out how your new routine will work and then stick to it. Most importantly of all, explain your new routine to your child so they know what to expect next. After a bit of time with a new routine, youโll be surprised by how well kids can adapt.
- Stick to your rules.
Obviously youโll want to be compassionate towards your children over this time. You can do this by giving them lots of cuddles and reassuring them. But try to stick to your discipline and rules as much as possible. If they are displaying challenging behaviours, itโs an opportunity for you to let them know that things havenโt changed at home and the rules still apply.
Dr Aliza Werner-Seidler is conducting a study on adolescents who experience sleep problems called the Dream On Study. She is looking at ways to help 12 to 16-year-olds with their sleep, which has the potential to reduce depression and anxiety as well as improve wellbeing. Visit the Black Dog Institute to find out more about this study.
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