Valentine’s Day is a great time to reignite romance and focus on improving your relationship with your partner. To reignite that spark in your relationship, meditation and mindfulness expert Soelae Riley has shared her three step tantric meditation guide designed to enhance intimacy and love for couples in time for Valentine’s Day.

As an experienced meditation teacher and trained tantra practitioner, Soelae knows that meditation is beneficial for any relationship, to reduce stress and regulate emotions to enhance harmony and connection.

“In many relationships in the initial stages of meeting and falling in love, there is lots of love, energy and intimacy. Then, after a period of time we see many couples lose the fire and intimacy,” says Soelae.

“The Hite Report (a national study of female sexuality’ by Shere Hite) states that 85 per cent of partners say that after two years of being in a relationship or marriage they love their partner but they are no longer ‘in love’ with them.”

“Some people think: ‘Well that’s natural, that’s what happens’. This can be true unless couples consciously choose to continue to create love and passion in their relationships.”

“Cultivating love, intimacy, and union is an ongoing process. But if you nurture your relationship, your relationship grows closer, your love grows deeper and sex even gets better,” adds Soelae.

Tantric meditation – three step guide

As a meditation teacher and trained tantra practitioner, Soelae shares a beautiful (PG rated) tantric meditation to enhance intimacy. This meditation has three stages: Breath, visualisation and connection.

Set up:
● Put aside time where you will be uninterrupted for 10 -20 minutes.
● Set the space so it feels nice and intimate.
● Position – sit opposite each other close enough so your knees touch. Sit crossed legged and use cushions to be comfortable. If sitting on the floor is uncomfortable you can have two chairs face each other close enough so your knees touch.
● Decide you will be the time keeper to move through each stage.

The process

Breathe together (5 -7 min)

Close your eyes and start with three cleansing breaths to settle into the meditation. Breathe in with a long, deep breath through the nose and then sigh as you breathe out through the mouth – aah! Use the breath to let go of any tension in the body. Now, for the next 5 minutes or so, continue to breathe together, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth (without the sigh) just long, slow deep breaths in and out. This is a harmonising breath practice. If you can tune into your partner’s breath, that’s great but if not, just notice your energy and start to settle and harmonise with your partner.

Visualisation (2 – 5 min)

Keeping your eyes closed, coming now to your natural breath in and out through the nose, bring your attention to feelings of love, admiration, appreciation, gratitude, desire that you feel for the person sitting opposite you. You may visualise these things or simply feel them in your heart. Now, you can imagine you are sending this energy from your heart to theirs with each out breath, and you are receiving their energy with each inhale.

Connection (2 – 5 min)

Now this is where you feel your intimacy expand, with gentle eye-gazing. When we open our eyes, it often feels quite awkward at first – to be totally present as a fully-opened, loving, passionate human being and allowing that to be seen by a partner. Open your eyes, and with a gentle gaze, look into each other’s eyes. Continue with long deep natural breaths through the nose. You may wish to reach out and hold each other’s hands, and you continue here for a few minutes. This is not a staring competition, it’s a gentle loving gaze into each other’s eyes, feeling love, connection and desire. If it feels uncomfortable, you can close your eyes for a few moments and then open again. Laughter may come up, or tears; this is all part of the body’s response to being ‘fully seen’ and experiencing true presence and connection.

To complete the meditation, you may simply give each other a hug, or thank each other for the time spent together. Without actively nurturing the relationship, feelings of love and intimacy can quickly become distant and fade away. This tantric meditation is a great practice to have in your tool box of love.

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