Separation can be a very difficult time. Some separations are a shock, some might have been a long time coming but either way, you may often feel lost and unsure of what to do next. Emotions can take over and that can be mentally overwhelming. When you’re feeling that way, it’s hard to tap into the logical part of our brain and think clearly.

Regaining some sense of control over your situation can help reduce that mind-fog and mental distress.

Here are a few tips of what to think about and do, if you’ve just separated:

1. Consider your safety and your children’s safety. If your relationship involved family or domestic violence, your number one priority is the personal safety of yourself and your children.  Separating can pose a risk or elevate existing risks of family violence. It is imperative that you get personalised advice to develop an ‘exit strategy’ – either before you separate or immediately after – to ensure you are protected and minimize the risks to you and your children.

2. Inform your children’s school – it is important for teachers and carers to be aware of why there may be changes in behaviours, emotions or disclosures made by children when a family breakdown has occurred. To best support your kids, their teachers and carers need to know what is going on at home. There are loads of books on separation and we’ve hand picked a few in a previous blog that can help a range of ages.  You may also arrange for your children to have professional support from their school counsellor, or another mental health professional, to give them a neutral space to work through the shift in their family life.

3. Change your passwords – with so many integrated digital platforms these days, your former spouse may have access to your emails, bank accounts, Netflix account or other accounts, without you even realising. it is important to remember change passwords to ensure that your details remain secure and your privacy maintained.

4. Change your Will and revoke or remake your Enduring Powers of Attorney. Often people make Wills and Enduring Powers of Attorney, file them in the bottom drawer and think they’ll never need to be looked at again. However when people separate, Wills and EPAs are important documents that need to be reconsidered, to ensure that your assets are protected into the future and your wishes are carried out as you would like them to be.

5. Set up a separate bank account in your own name and consider whether you wish to have your pay directed into that account. We recommend seeking legal advice before undertaking this step.

6. Consider issues such as who will move out, who will pay the mortgage, and other joint expenses. The last thing you want to happen at such a stressful time is have a mortgage or loan go into default.  Do some research about your eligibility to government pensions, allowances or benefits in your circumstances, and if you have children, child support. Contact your bank to find out whether hardship arrangements can be implemented for your mortgage.

If you are worried about how you’ll manage your finances, get early legal advice so that you have some options tailored for your situation before things snowball.

7. Seek legal advice about property separation and issues relating to parenting and consider attending dispute resolution. Some couples manage to make decisions together amicably, but others may need professional guidance to get on the same page.  Providing some certainty to you and the children is an important way of maintaining stability for them amid the initial upheaval of their parents separating.  Even if you are able to work things out together, then getting what has been agreed into a legally binding document may be very important to guard against future disputes or conflict.

Parker Coles Curtis are a boutique award-winning firm offering a limited amount of free 30 minute phone or zoom consultations to discuss your legal matter.

Their team can provide you with practical and tailored legal advice at all stages of the separation process – before, during and after. They can help you stay calm and in control every step of the way, and guide you to a new beginning. Contact us here to book an appointment today or call our friendly team on (02) 5114 2600.

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.parkercolescurtis.com.au

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