In her regular column for Canberra Daily, ‘Why your mind matters’, founder of Anytime Counselling, Tina Kendall-Davis BA, BEd, DipCouns, GradDipPsyc, offers general advice to help us cope in everyday situations. This week’s topic: When we just feel ‘meh’.
‘Meh’.
We’ve all been there!
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me?”, ‘I’m fine, I just feel rubbish”, “I can’t be bothered”… Really, I could write these for days and still not exhaust the list.
Sometimes – we just feel ‘meh’.
And that’s okay. That’s normal. But you do need to listen to what your body is trying to tell you.
You are spent.
You’re burning out.
And we, the brilliant coping machines that we’ve become, we just keep on soldiering on.
Because that’s just what you do.
Except we shouldn’t.
We’re not machines.
We’re NOT robots.
If you’re feeling ‘meh’, it’s time to counteract the effects your life is having on you.
Don’t feel bad. We’ve all been there. Even the experts. It’s normal – we focus outward at the expense of looking inward. When you start to feel bad, it’s your body reminding you to focus in. If you keep ignoring it, it’ll keep reminding you – until the day it forces you.
So, what can we do?
STOP.
Just stop.
When you’re feeling like this, you’re not functioning at peak – so whatever it is you’re doing, you’re not doing it well. So, stop. Do yourself – and the tasks at hand – a favour, and just stop.
Now, permit yourself some task free time. You choose the timeframe; you choose the activity. This will look different for everyone. No right. No wrong. Just your way. Embrace your way and do what’s best for you.
The whole idea is to give yourself permission to turn off, walk away, regroup, reset and restart. The elephant is dead – no point dragging it up the hill backwards. Stop, walk away and reset yourself to try again. It’s the same hill – who cares how you get to the top?
By choosing the timeframe (be kind to you – remember you are NOT a robot), you give yourself permission to completely switch off and take a real mental timeout from everything. This is your break. Thinking about tasks is not permitted. Be real though – five minutes does NOT a decent break make!
Now choose what it is you are going to do. How are YOU indulging YOU? Are you going for a walk/run/ride/swim? Are you hiking, gardening or painting? Are you getting a massage or a coffee? Are you seeing a moving or watching a series? No right, no wrong; just you. Your choices, your decisions.
Then fully submerge yourself in it – free from any mental clutter. Live the amazing ‘right now’ activity you’ve chosen. Live the moment, the right now. Do it for you.
When your time is up and the break is over – your brain should be feeling better. When the overwhelm of ‘I don’t want to…’ hits you – which it will – you can effectively talk yourself around, without forcing yourself to ‘suck it up’ or ‘just get it done’ (yuck – these are all brutal on our mental health over time. Limit these as a priority!)
We can now reason with ourselves, saying things like – “it’s okay”, “I’ve had a break”, “I can do this”.
I promise, it’s not as ridiculous as it sounds. Try it. We respond well to reasoning when reasoning is fair. We’ve created a fair situation – we’ve had a break, it’s okay to work again.
What you may find is, tasks that were taking hours may start taking minutes. Meaning, not only is taking a break time well spent – oftentimes it can be time saved. Imagine that, taking a break to save time. Who would have thought?
I do this to me all the time. I swear by it. You’ll develop your language around it – but the asset is there for the taking. Take it. Look after you, and become more productive and efficient for it.
Editor’s note: This column provides information that is general in nature. Please always refer to your preferred health professional for advice suited to your personal healthcare requirements.
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