Relationship journalist and founder of Bad Dates of Melbourne and Bad Dates of Australia, Alita Brydon, sat down with Canberra Daily to share her expertise on finding love in lockdown via digital dating.
Due to pandemic restrictions and lockdowns, Tinder has seen a 19% spike in messages sent per day between February 2020 and February 2021. Now that the ACT has joined the (not so) party, here are some expert pointers to keep in mind when looking for a connection while stuck at home.
Tip #1: Reassess what a date should look like – this is now sweatpants-friendly zone
“When I was a little girl, I had this idea that a guy would formally ask you out, and everything would go accordingly, with him rocking up with a box of chocolates, taking you out to the cinema, and dropping you home after,” Alita says.
“The reality of digital dating is that it’s low pressure.”
“You make meaningful connections from the comfort of your home. Take what you think dating should be and make idea that more fluid. It will lead to so many more opportunities.”
She says the main difference between digital dating in lockdown as opposed to previous years is, unsurprisingly, the length of time couples have known each other before meeting in person.
According to Alita, conversations on Tinder have become 32% longer on average during the pandemic.
“Before, most would try to meet up right away,” she said. “That’s not an option at the moment. We’re made to talk a while, get to know someone a bit better, and it leads to a deeper, more intimate connection.”
Tip #2: Activities are your best defence against awkward silences
Worried about keeping the conversation going without a meal to eat or waiter to interrupt? Don’t be. There are plenty of first-date activities that transition nicely to the online realm. For video dates (which Alita recommends transitioning to from text or chat asap), here are some tried and true tactics:
“One I often recommend is making the same recipe at home or ordering from the same restaurant. You can still enjoy a meal together. Watch parties on Netflix are a great cinema alternative.
“On my own list to try is stargazing separately in your backyards. Don’t let lockdown stop you from being romantic, you still deserve it.
“Making dates activity-based gives you something fun to look forward to during lockdown, something out of the ordinary during a time where it’s most welcome.”
Tip #3: Make it special
“Dress up or have a theme for your date. I know it sounds silly, but it is really fun,” Alita says.
“If that’s too out there, dress formal! Show up in the dress that you haven’t been able to wear because you’ve been stuck indoors. Do your makeup, do your hair. Wear a tie. As long as you both have fun with it.
“When you make a date memorable, it makes the connection a little bit deeper,” she smiles.
Tip #4: Keep your bio fresh
According to Alita, now is the best time to update your dating app bio.
“If you’ve got ‘Looking for tips for my trip to Japan next week,’ it looks stale … We all know you have the time to update your profile right now.”
A top tip for lockdown friendly dating is to make use of the vaccination badges offered on Tinder.
“Your bio is the best place to state your values upfront, Alita says. “Everyone’s talking about vaccination at the moment, so let them know if you have been vaccinated, or are planning to.”
Tip #5: Give it a go
Recent findings from Tinder show that 84% of people agree that dating apps have been helpful in terms of remaining connected and meeting new people during the global pandemic. Alita says the best advice is to put yourself out there, even while at home.
“Canberra may be heading towards what has become a common experience in Melbourne, where you might get to know someone during the lockdown period, talk to them on the phone and go into the first date already having a deep connection. That’s a different – and wonderful – experience brought on by these times.
“Always be safe. And if it doesn’t work out, hop on Bad Dates of Australia, and connect with us instead,” she laughs.
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