Older users of eHarmony may only just be learning of the ‘traffic light system’ now promoted on the website to determine a healthy date. However, the slang’s been around since October last year when it was born, unsurprisingly, on Twitter.

The red flag emoji came first, used on Twitter and TikTok to literally flag that a potential partner’s actions are worrying enough to bail on a new relationship.

 According to eHarmony’s latest survey, 89 per cent of Aussies believe that noticing green flags (like strong eye contact) is just as important as the red ones (being rude to the waiter or getting legless on the first date).

eHarmony has even floated around a new yellow flag, for when a date pulls something that might have you gently pressing on the brakes.

Yellow Flags

Both Aussie men and women consider a potential partner being best friends with their ex a yellow flag. Interestingly, this is more of an issue for men than women (51 per cent versus 38 per cent).

The most common yellow flag were signs of being broke, noted by 54 per cent of all Aussies. Getting upset by criticism was the next common, with a similar 47 per cent of men and 42 per cent of women responding that this would make them sceptical.

If a potential partner is always late (51 per cent) or have a hard time expressing their feelings (43 per cent), many Aussies will also nudge them into the yellow zone.

Red Flags

When talking about red flags – the dealbreakers, the hard no-no’s – your average friendly Aussie will not tolerate a date being rude to the bar or restaurant staff; 70 per cent of men and 83 per cent of women consider this a total turn-off.

If your date is clearly not listening to a word you’re saying, or drinks enough to sink the Titanic, over 70 per cent of Aussies would not call again.

Men and women were slightly misaligned over two red flags: Getting jealous of you talking to other people on your date (62 per cent of men versus 78 per cent of women) and describing their exes as “crazy” (58 per cent of men versus 78 per cent of women).

“This is far more of a dealbreaker for women than it is for men, possibly because it’s perceived as misogynistic behaviour,” stated eHarmony.

Green Flags

What do Aussies love in a potential match? Someone who genuinely listens (75 per cent), followed by being present in the moment (71 per cent), and good eye contact (70 per cent). For 67 per cent of Aussies, being asked questions about themselves on a date is also a green flag.

Finally, a good sense of humour is attractive for three quarters of women (70 per cent), and just under 60 per cent of men.

Red versus green flag stories

And now, Canberra Daily has compiled a few red versus green stories for both your education and enjoyment. Please note, all names have been changed for privacy.

“I dated a girl who was nice but had a coloured Amity Affliction tattoo on her calf. We saw the new Star Wars movie together and then I went back to her house. I already knew she smoked, but nothing says, “given up entirely” like a Hofbräuhaus Stein glass, overflowing with ciggy butts on the deck.” – Leslie

“For me, personal style is important, regardless of gender. I’m not asking for the world, just a sense of personal style and taste that indicates they’ve put thought into how they dress, what suits them, and makes them feel good. A nicely put together outfit communicates personality!” – Andy

“When I was 22, I matched with someone who was 19 on Tinder. We made plans to go to a Mexican place. I asked if she wanted a drink… she said she shouldn’t. As it happens, not only was she 17, but also Senator [redacted]’s daughter.” – Leslie

“Being willing to openly communicate boundaries, and respect mine is a green flag. A guy I’m seeing right now is wonderful for this, he’s patient and checks in with how I’m feeling and doesn’t push me further than I’m willing to go. And that makes it fabulously easy to return the favour! Communication is key, who knew?” – Andy

“This guy had filthy, like fully black, caked under with dirt, fingernails. I investigated and asked if he was into cars, played sport, liked gardening, anything that could excuse the nails. No, nothing, he just had bad hygiene.” – Liv

“He hugged me as a greeting on the first date and it didn’t feel creepy/weird. We had lunch and kept coming up with things to do so we could continue the date, the time just flew by. We ended up hanging out for over 5 hours and even immediately after the date ended, we continued messaging each other. We’re still together, even though he likes ‘Rick and Morty’ (big red flag).” – Liv

“She stayed on her phone for 75 per cent of the date. When I went to pay for our lunch, she just stood there in total expectation for me to pay, then didn’t even say thank you… She went out the same way she came in, with no class.” – Miguel

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