Thud, Pop, and Squeak are Canberran ex-political journalist Lauren Dubois’ adorable children. For those who don’t follow her on Instagram, that’s not their real names – and there’s a very good reason Lauren won’t share them online.

Current and recent generations of children are the first to experience having parents plaster their lives all over social media from the moment they’re born – a phenomenon known as ‘sharenting’.

For parents, there’s hardly a rule book on how much exposure is too much, and how much is a safe amount; it’s not like they can ask their parents what they did when they were young.

Mums and dads of Gen Z (born mid-late 1990s to 2010) and Gen Alpha (born in or post 2010) are grappling with these questions, and Lauren is among them.

In tonight’s episode of Insight on SBS (Tuesday 26 July), Lauren talked about her personal social media policies regarding her children. Prior to the episode screening, she chatted with Canberra Daily to reveal why she believes it’s important for parents to think seriously about their kids’ online presence.

“It’s a very hard decision. This generation of children are being raised online, and it’s rare for a parent to choose to not share anything,” she says.

“Most parents do approach with some caution, and some don’t… How I approach, like most parents, is the need to consider two separate things – their safety and their privacy.”

Lauren says protecting your child’s safety involves avoiding sharing details about their lives that could potentially put them in danger – their school, sports teams, location, and potentially, their names.

“My very first post I put up on my blog, I just decided to give my son a nickname. I think I was just aware that there were safety reasons people might want to keep their children anonymous,” she says.

“Initially, as well as a nickname, I didn’t show his face. The images were from a distance or side on. It was about six months in, and I caved… he was so cute!

“It’s something a lot of parents relate to, because you really want to protect their privacy but also want to show them off. His cuteness won over.”

When choosing what and what not to share in regards to your child’s privacy, Lauren says some details just aren’t “anyone’s business” and to avoid posting something that may embarrass them later in life.

“Some things should be kept private from strangers. I try and think would I be embarrassed about that if my parents shared that about me?” says Lauren.

“I think I’m getting that balance right. I think I’m being reasonable with their safety, and I also believe that in taking steps to protect their privacy, I choose to do it in a way that’s not extreme – you can’t be paranoid.

“While you do everything to protect their privacy and safety, take steps to make sure you’re still not fake or paranoid. I don’t want to present an image that’s not realistic, like the kids never misbehave – that’s not the reality of our life.

“I try not to be paranoid about people stalking them because that would lead me to be a mess in the corner.”

Thud, her oldest son, recently turned nine, and Lauren has made the executive decision to stop posting him on her social media after already reducing him to the background for a couple of years now.

She explains when children rea young, their experiences are also yours as a mother.

“You’re walking along this path as a pair, but when they start school, your paths veer off from each other. They have their own little lives away from your life with experiences that don’t involve Mum and Dad,” says Lauren.

“Their stories are their own and not mine to tell. Until he gets to the age where he can give proper consent and say ‘I’m happy for you to share this about me online’, I make that decision for him.”

While conversing with other parents on the Insight episode, Lauren says she enjoyed listening to children who love looking back on their lives through their parents’ social media, and the range of perspectives informed a valuable discussion.  

At the end of the day, she believes every parent is making the decision they believe to be best for their children and their families.

Is it different for prominent figures in the community?

As a well-known Canberran figure, Lauren understands the prospect of people recognising your children in public from the internet.

Contemplating the levels at which you post about your children on social media can differ depending on how large your internet presence is.

“Simply walking down the street we do get recognised fairly regularly – Canberra’s a small town,” smiles Lauren.

“But after years of doing this, everyone is so lovely and I’ve never had a negative reaction. No one has ever approached my children, they come to me, and everyone has done respectful things.”

Lauren reveals she has in the past copped some flak from the internet for involving her children in some sponsored campaigns on her social media sites.

She says she doesn’t want to speak on behalf of anyone else, but she never makes her children do anything they wouldn’t want to do.

“I did a campaign featuring my son with Lego, and I did get a message from someone saying I’m exploiting my son – he was having the time of his life, he’s obsessed with Lego!” laughs Lauren.

“I would never. If a brand asked me to make my children do this – no. But I’m happy to film them naturally doing something or ask them to stand still for a photo.

“All I ever ask them to do is certainly not hard. They have a pretty chilled life.”

On the flip side, Lauren has seen certain social media families she finds unnerving due to the amount their children are plastered onto the internet.

“I feel uncomfortable when kids are clearly reading from a script or are prompted to act a certain way, but I’m not living in that house,” says Lauren.

“Some kids may enjoy it. I was a dramatic kid, so that stuff would probably have been fun for me. But when a child is really not into it, it makes me feel uncomfortable.

“It, too, informs me on how I should be approaching things with my children – things I would never do.”

When contemplating a post, Lauren finds it helpful to remember that once something is on the internet, it’s there forever.

For any parent who is having qualms about sharing their child on social media and is looking for advice, Lauren says to “not be too paranoid”.

“I believe there are risks, but if you’re careful, you’re likely to avoid those. Every part of parenting, from the minute you bring a child into the world, there are risks,” she says.

“Otherwise, you’ll be bogged down worrying about every moment of every day. Just do it in a measured way. You should be allowed to be proud of your kids and as long as they’re happy, respect their decisions and try not to share things that might embarrass them. I think people are smart enough to make the right decisions for their family.”

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