Making a friend as an adult can be tricky, then when you add mental health challenges on top of that, it can become downright daunting. Aiming to combat social isolation, Vinnies’ Compeer Friendship Program connects people living with mental health challenges with volunteers from the community.

“Friendships tend to be beautiful things… It’s important that everybody experiences the joy of friendship, and sometimes people just need a little bit of support along the way,” says Jasna Mitic, Compeer officer.

Participants are referred to the program through a health practitioner who provides mental health support to them. Volunteers sign up through a form on Vinnies’ website and agree to a police check, hold a working with vulnerable people card, and provide references.

“The program started from the US; it’s a franchise essentially,” Ms Mitic says. “It is built around social connection or friendships actually being beneficial for people’s mental health. The virtue of humans is that we are inherently social beings and social connections do improve our mental health.”

Both the participant and the volunteer are asked to commit to four hours a month for 12 months. They meet somewhere for an activity like a walk, coffee, lunch or something else they mutually agree on. There are opportunities to extend the program, and it is not uncommon for friendships to continue independently.

“Friendships take time to develop. So, we just make that initial connection and we hope that people over time will grow it into friendship.”

Volunteers and clients are matched based on age, gender and location. Ms Mitic says they try to find people who are located on the same side of the lake.

“There’s a thing around when you live in close proximity it makes it more likely that people will actually connect,” she says.

A short questionnaire asks participants about their interests and what kind of things they might want to do with their new friend. Ms Mitic says common interests can help make connections easier for both parties, so volunteers are asked similar questions. When it looks like two people could be a friendship match, profiles are exchanged and both parties are asked if they are interested in meeting.

According to Ms Mitic, sometimes people just don’t click with others, and there is no pressure to continue meeting with someone when it isn’t working.

“Our first preference is let’s find out what is going on, why isn’t working, is it something we can work through? If we really can’t find a way forward, then people can look for another match. That’s for both volunteers and participants,” she says.

Ms Mitic says the whole process is approached in an encouraging way, and participants are praised for the steps they take to be involved in the program. Many of the skills they learn through the program, like the boundaries, could also help them make friends outside of the program.

“Mental health is something that can affect people quite deeply,” she says.  “Sometimes that’s something that affects our social connections. We look at it on the positive side in terms of this is what a person has recognised that they need in their life; we are very supportive of them wanting to do that.”

There are a couple of boundaries that participants must adhere to for the duration of the program to ensure equality in the relationship. These include always meeting in public spaces, each person making their own travel arrangements and paying for their own way.

Participants are left to create their own boundaries regarding conversation. Ms Mitic says implementing guides would be restrictive and hinder organic relationships. With the befriending program being a social one, no mental health conditions are disclosed.

“That’s up to them to share when and if they feel like they would like to share that. We do sort of reiterate that the purpose of the volunteer is social connection and they’re not a support worker or mental health practitioner,” she says.

It is as simple as giving and receiving friendship according to Tara*, a volunteer with the Compeer program. She says you don’t need any skills or knowledge of mental health issues as you aren’t there to be a counsellor or psychologist.

“I feel really lucky to have found Compeer and made such a lovely new friend. It is genuinely a joy catching up and checking in on each other. Forming an adult friendship with explicit boundaries and expectations, while different, is actually really refreshing and helpful,” says Tara.

Although the focus is on the one-on-one connections, Tara says there are also opportunities to connect with the wider Compeer network.

Sophia*, who is not matched with someone yet, is also keen to establish friendships that last beyond the program.

“I wish to draw on my own lived experience of mental illness to connect with and support my Compeer friend, so that they know that they have someone to talk to who can truly understand their journey,” says Sophia.

Also not matched yet, Anoushka* knew she wanted to volunteer but wasn’t sure how, until she came across the Compeer program. The flexibility was a huge appeal, especially as she has young children.

“I love the idea of spending time with someone and building a friendship with no preconceptions of one another. I am a social person and know it can be hard getting to know new people, which is why I wanted to join the program as there is no worse feeling than feeling alone even if you are surrounded by people,” says Anoushka.

*Names have been changed.

Find out more about the Compeer Friendship Program at vinnies.org.au/act-surrounds/find-help/mental-health-support-act-surrounds/compeer-friendship-program or email [email protected]

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