In her new column for Canberra Daily, ‘Why your mind matters’, founder of Anytime Counselling, Tina Kendall-Davis BA, BEd, DipCouns, GradDipPsyc, offers general advice to help us cope in everyday situations. This week’s topic: fear versus excitement.

Is it fear or is it excitement? Well, that’s completely up to you.

Twenty (plus some) years ago – I performed on stage. Not a big part, I wasn’t qualified for that, but a role that parked me front and centre all the same.

And I sucked!

The jitters set in and the butterflies swallowed my entire inner being. I was terrified. And anyone with eyeballs in that theatre knew it.

Fast forward around 15 years and the opportunity to play a small (think pin-prick size) role in a television series came up and ‘just for fun’ me thinks “why not?”. Don’t get me wrong, I held ZERO belief that I would make it past any stage and submitted more on a dare than anything else.

Then I got called up to audition.

Next, reality set in. I had to audition. The jitters set in and the butterflies hovered.

Only this time, I wasn’t terrified. After all, I did this for a laugh, and this was just another stage in my funny story.

So, full of excitement, off I went.

How did I go? Well, they threw us a whammy, changed up what we had to do versus what we thought we had to do – and this stirred the beast of terror. Completely destroying my first two lines, I reminded myself this was merely a fun little game I was playing with – well, myself really, and that who really cared what the outcome was? I had no expectations anyway. ‘Adios’ terror beast, we’re here for a laugh. Excitement returned and I settled in.

And I loved it.

And I got a part.

And everyone, including you, can relate to why.

The brain cannot tell the difference between fear and excitement. The physiological reactions within the body are the same. Us knowing we are scared or excited is determined purely by what we tell ourselves. And what we tell ourselves is completely up to us. 

If you feel the fear monster stirring, the butterflies hovering, the fear response rising – get in front of it and TELL yourself how excited you are. If you are interviewing for your dream job and you feel terrible, TELL yourself how exciting this opportunity is and how much you are looking forward to it. The brain cannot tell the difference between the two from the internal reactions it is feeding off. It needs you to determine the difference for it. Thus, feeling fear or excitement for any given situation is completely within your control.

Want advice? If you’d like Tina’s advice on an issue you’re facing, please email [email protected] with ‘Why your mind matters’ in the subject field.

Editor’s note: This column provides information that is general in nature. Please always refer to your preferred health professional for advice suited to your personal healthcare requirements.