In traditional medicine, emotional harmony is one of the core elements of a healthy mind and body. That’s not to say it’s necessary or even desirable to try and stay in a balanced state all the time. Trying to hold onto any one emotional state: happiness, for example, only creates an inordinate amount of tension.
One of my favorite quotes comes from O’Sensei, the revered founder of a Japanese martial art call Aikido. Renowned for his incredible agility and poise, one of his students asked him, “O’Sensei, how is it that you never lose your balance?” His reply, “I am constantly losing my balance, I just regain it so fast that nobody notices”. Mastery, therefore, is not about never losing your balance but regaining it swiftly.
In emotional terms then, it’s healthier and more realistic to allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions, from pleasant to unpleasant. To allow them to bubble up into consciousness without trying to control them. This is easier said than done of course, as we all prefer the pleasant emotions like joy, happiness and contentment over the difficult ones like anger, fear or dread. The theory is that if we can expand our capacity to feel the full breadth of our emotional life, we become more skillful at returning to a neutral or ‘balanced’ state.
No emotion is either good or bad, they all can be helpful. Fear, for example, is a primal instinct that can keep us safe. Likewise, a fixation on happiness can keep us focused on short-term comfort over long-term reward. The key is to try and be conscious about what emotions are being triggered within us so we can respond consciously. If we’re learning something new, like skiing, for example, we need to consciously overcome the fear of falling over and hurting or embarrassing ourselves to stick with it and make progress. At the same time, a beginner’s fear of the double black diamond runs is helpful.
Have you ever considered how much your own health choices can be an emotional minefield? Scratch beneath the surface and there is often a deep fear about getting sick and dying that we don’t think about until we are confronted with it. As we’ve all experienced, there’s nothing like a global pandemic to stoke fear and trigger unconscious responses. If we use our fear wisely, we can harness it to make choices that nourish and support our bodies and minds. So, pandemics can inspire us to eat better, get fitter, and so on.
What I see every day is the willingness of the body to repair and heal, it’s both miraculous and mundane. It’s never too late to start making friends with ALL our emotions and no act of kindness toward yourself is ever wasted.
Editor’s note: This wellbeing column provides information that is general in nature. Please always refer to your preferred health professional for advice suited to your personal healthcare requirements.
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