Have you ever said “I feel fat” to yourself, and how does it feel to call your body a name that has so many negative associations to it? Calling your body a nasty name and putting it down makes us feel ashamed of our bodies. It’s disrespectful and cruel. Think of the schoolyard where when kids are being mean they call someone fat.

The word ‘fat’ is loaded with negativity and comes from an appearance-obsessed society that stigmatises people based on their body weight, size and shape. It comes from a society that tells us what a body should and shouldn’t look like. We take this on board and are cruel to our bodies by the language we use towards it. I specialise, through my research and clinical work, in trying to understand why we think the way we do about our bodies and why we give in to diet culture and idealise unattainable bodies. Research shows that it’s important to appreciate and respect our bodies and ourselves for good mental health.

Let me pass some tips.

First, ‘fat’ is not a feeling, it’s a response to an emotion we have about something else. When we say we feel ‘fat’, it’s often triggered by sadness, guilt, anger or anxiety over something that’s happened. For example, we are having a hard time at work or school or with our friends and we turn this onto our body. It can be triggered by bodily changes that occur due to hormones, wearing tight clothing or something we’ve eaten.

Fat is a nasty word; it’s used to be cruel and to punish. Unless you’ve done something really morally wrong, why do we need to be punished? Ask yourself this if you catch yourself being harsh towards your body. Eating is a common trigger where people judge themselves for eating something they think they shouldn’t. This is diet brainwashing. But all food is good food, and no foods are morally better than others.

Work out what triggered this negative self-talk. Are you tired or feeling unhappy about something and that’s making you take it out on your body? Have you been looking at unhelpful social media or websites about people’s bodies? If so, think about changing this.

Treat your body like your best friend. You don’t call your friend ‘fat’ or nasty names so don’t do this to yourself. Learning to appreciate your body for what it can do as well as rejecting social and media pressures to look a certain way really helps improve your body image.

Your body will never be perfect as perfection doesn’t exist. But your body deserves to be treated with respect, always. Talk to a psychologist if this is an ongoing negative dialogue on your body.

You might like to read my book on promoting positive body image where you can learn how to love your body just as it is, titled Positive Bodies: Loving the Skin You’re In.  Get your copy here.