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Monday, September 16, 2024

Share the excitement- the psychological importance of joining in

We’ve all experienced being excited. That frenetic rush of adrenaline and feeling of positive emotions that might make us yell for joy or jump up and down. It can also be that nervous energy; you cannot concentrate on anything else in anticipation of something really positive that’s about to happen. You might feel it in anticipation of a baby being born, your favourite sporting team winning or looking forward to doing something fun with friends.

Excitement is a whole-body experience where we get a surge of adrenaline and a desire to act. That’s what makes us jump up and down or talk quickly. This body excitement is what makes people loud and boisterous sometimes.

The best excitement is when others join in on our enthusiasm and share with us our emotions. Psychologists sometimes call this validation, where someone acknowledges how we feel and shares this with us. We all need to feel validated, that our experiences and our emotions are important and ok. This validation occurs even when the other person has no idea why we might be excited about something but joins in on it anyway. For example, when we might be excited about something we’ve bought or something we are doing, and the person shares our smiles and acknowledges that we’re happy.

We share excitement all the time such as at sporting events with others where we all cheer on our team or the excitement of a crowd when the fireworks are going off. It feels good to share it with others.

Watching someone get excited often increases our enthusiasm for something, like when we watch a motivational speaker talk excitedly about a topic. It fuels us to act. It’s used a lot in the workplace to try and increase productivity by eliciting positive emotions and motivation.

On the flipside, when we observe someone who isn’t sharing in our excitement and enthusiasm, it can sap our energy and stop us from feeling positive. It can affect our decision-making and de-motivate us. We feel invalidated and that our emotions are not important, or we feel we are being silly or overreacting.

Children especially need the adults in their lives to share in their excitement and validate what’s important to them and when they enjoy it. We need friends to share our passions with us, showing empathy and understanding.

Feeling excited all the time though does take its toll and can stop us from relaxing. It’s very hard to be calm, relax and sleep well when something exciting is coming up. Which is why children can’t sleep the night before Christmas! It also explains why our devices can be unhelpful at bedtime. We might see something or do something that gets us excited, and this isn’t conducive to sleeping. Sometimes we need time to settle, re-focus on something calming and schedule the continuation of excitement for another day.

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