This is for all those single people out there experiencing pity from their partnered friends and constantly being set up or asked why they’re single. Those well-meaning friends who have someone who’s ‘just right for you’ or think the answer to your happiness is finding the right partner. I counsel plenty of single clients who are sick and tired of being asked, often by family, when they’re going to get married as if that is the answer to ultimate happiness.

There are many myths out there that single people are lonely and unfulfilled. There’s also social and cultural pressure to settle down and get married. It’s often the first question adults get asked; Are you married? Well, let’s take a look at the science of the benefits of being single, shall we?

Studies on people who are single by choice have actually shown that they are often more confident in themselves in terms of who they are, their values and what’s important to them. They have time to prioritise their own needs, pursue goals and hobbies and are often better at self-care (think of relaxation and sleep) and looking after themselves.

Many people who have been single for a significant period of time by choice are comfortable in their own skin, they know who they are and often don’t waste time with those people who suck energy from them. Rather, they have quality relationships with friends who lift them up and support them. Single people can also often be more generous to others with their time and are often seen as kind and caring by their friends and colleagues. Long-term singles often know themselves well and if they do decide to start a relationship, they’re often more secure in themselves and clearer about their needs and their response to the needs of others.

Of course, we all need to feel connected to people, but this doesn’t have to be through a romantic relationship. If we have good quality relationships with family, friends and colleagues, this provides us with a feeling of being understood, cared for, loved and appreciated.

There’s also plenty of research on the detrimental effects to our mental health if we are in the wrong relationship. Think of those in relationships, whether romantic or not, that are disrespectful and unloving, or those where a person feels they’ve lost the sense of who they are or they feel lonely within the relationship.

Whether single or not, good mental health involves respecting yourself and others and having quality relationships with others which can occur in many forms. It’s about prioritising your needs and looking after yourself. So single people, next time you’re asked the question about whether you’re in a relationship, you can say ‘Yes, I’m in a fabulous one with myself!’.